If you’ve read or seen Harry Potter, then you’ll remember the beginning scenes where Harry is treated quite badly by his relatives.  The adults in the family are neglectful and abusive towards him.   Their attitude influences how their son acts towards Harry, as well.  Luckily for him, though, Harry doesn’t seem to be as low on self worth as so many other children in similar situations.

I grew up in a similar situation and I was very low on self-worth.  It is still something I battle on occasion to this day.  A couple of years ago at Christmastime I confronted my mother when I realized, finally in my forties, that I had not been a planned addition to the family.  Only my older sister and brother had been intended, in the minds of my parents.  My mother’s response was violent, which made everything all the more clear.  I’d finally uncovered the hidden truth.

That is one of the worst Christmases I can remember, and certainly the worst my own children have experienced.  While that emotional explosion marked the end of a whole part of my life, it also marked the beginning of a fresh and clear new part, one that could be seen through a whole new set of eyes.  No, it wouldn’t be easy nor would it be instant.  But, every step was in a positive direction and soon I was feeling more free than I ever had before.

Eventually I was able to truly forgive my family.   That forgiveness did not include reconciliation of the relationships, but it did include releasing of all of the emotional pain they had caused me.

I began to realize that while I had not been planned by my parents,  I had been planned very purposefully and intentionally by God.  My experiences would help me to help others who suffer from abusive relationships.

There had been times when I didn’t see much point in carrying on through such an existence.   Now, I am so thankful I mustered up the courage to keep going.   Life has become amazing!  I met and married the man of my dreams, my mother-in-law is my very best friend, we have four healthy and entertaining children, and we have a wonderfully successful business.  Oh, and a dog with a huge personality and two cats with absolutely no redeeming qualities, but we love them anyway.  🙂

My Christmas wish is for no one to ever give up hope that life can be beautiful.  Maybe life won’t ever be perfect, but true happiness is the ability to find beauty in the imperfect.