Forgiveness is something that is gradually and continuously learned over a lifetime. In this 5-part series I will share what I’ve observed thus far on the importance of putting it into everyday practice for ourselves, those close to us, our community and beyond.

Part 1 – Unfair Circumstances

At some time or another we all have experienced unfairness. It’s just a fact that life is unfair. We don’t get the same opportunities, recognition, rewards, appreciation, consideration, treatment, results, etc. Every day people are granted things, positive and negative, that they’ve neither earned or deserve.

Our reaction to the unfairness is what makes the difference.

There are many examples I can give of those who chose the path of bitterness. It’s a path of ruin. It ruins one’s own potential, ruins the ability to have pure relationships, ruins the quality of everyday life. There are far too many people walking this path and it’s sad.

I woven on and off that path, too. Many unfair things happened in my life that I could choose to remain very angry about. But, that wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t make anything better at all. And, what I want is something better. So, my choice is to look at those unfair circumstances for what they were, learn from them, and use the knowledge in progressing forward.

I’ll give you this example. For years in my career I thought that if I worked a little harder, stayed longer hours, agreed to a heavier workload than my peers, that I would eventually be recognized for it and I’d be given a raise to equal my worth. It never happened. When I finally had the nerve to approach the discussion with one boss, I was told that I made enough money. As a single mother I was barely making ends meet. But, he offered to supplement my salary in other ways when needed in exchange for “favors”. No way. I left.

Another boss told me a raise wasn’t in the budget. I knew in fact it was. My billable rate was five times more than my pay and I put in a multitude of overtime. After I left there, a man was hired to replace me at a starting salary thirty percent higher than I was making at my departure. That information was leaked to me from someone else who was also incensed by how I’d been treated.

I could choose to be bitter about these experiences as well as other things that happened throughout my career. But, here’s what I did instead. I took that energy and used it to start a business with my husband. We’ve are now a well established small company in our community and we couldn’t be happier.

As far as those bosses, I made the conscious decision to forgive them. I don’t want or need to hang on to negative energy from those past experiences. It would only rob my attention from fully appreciating the many good things and good people in our lives.

Forgiveness is done from the heart. It does not need to be communicated any other way. It’s a release from bondage to the past. Forgiveness is freedom.

That’s not to say it is easy. It certainly isn’t. Pray for help to forgive. It may take time and many prayers. But, if it is in your heart to do it, it will happen and every breath from then on will be sweeter.