*This is a true story, though names and places have been changed for privacy.

Heather was a bright, tenacious young woman who set out on her own at an early age to seek a better life than that which was promised if she stayed in the small, rural Southern town where her family lived. She went north to a flourishing city to find a job and put herself through night classes at college. The problem was, as brave as Heather was to venture out on her own, she had no idea that she was sorely lacking in knowledge of emotional maturity and healthy relationships. The dysfunctional family she left behind could take the credit for that.

Not surprisingly, Heather soon found herself involved with a man who was, shall we say, not best suited for her. She had a nagging feeling in her gut that something was off, but it wasn’t easily identifiable. After all, the man seemed sincere in his attentions. He appeared to really care for her as her own family had not done. What if she never found anyone else to care as much for her as this man promised he did? And so, even though she did not love him, Heather settled because she believed he loved her.

Little did Heather know that this man’s version of love was not pure. His love was solely for himself and his interest in Heather was simply to complete the visage he wanted the world to believe of him. What he had convinced Heather was love, was manipulation and lies to get her to go along with his charade.

The man’s name was Fredwig. It wasn’t a pleasant name, and to be fair he didn’t go by Fredwig, he went by his middle name. But, in this story he is Fredwig because it fits so well.

Fredwig used Heather’s innocence and trust to his advantage. He convinced her it was best to keep their finances separate because of his business transactions. When their first child was born, it was Heather’s duty to provide for the baby’s needs out of her account. Yes, he had enough money to cover her credit card bills, but why was that his responsibility? He needed his money for his boat, race car, r.v. and solo vacations. No, he didn’t need to cancel his casino plans to go their child’s Christmas play. How dare she and the children keep him awake when he had to catch an early flight to go to a concert in L.A., even if it was because they all three had the flu?

By then Heather knew that the marriage was over. She was just waiting to save enough money to leave with the children. She had put her energy into her career, hoping for a promotion so she would be able to afford an apartment. Fredwig would never give up the house and she had no family within 1,500 miles. Even if she did have family that lived closer, she would not leave one bad situation for another. Whatever Heather had to do, she would have to do alone.

Then, she began to discover the real depths of Fredwig’s betrayal. Fredwig had hired a corrupt real estate lawyer to rewrite the ownership of their home, leaving Heather’s name on the mortgage, but only Fredwig’s name on the deed. Then, he involved his mother to call the mortgage company and pretend to be Heather in order to drain the equity line of credit on the house.

Fredwig became so paranoid that Heather would find out about his dealings that he cloned her cell phone, put a tracking device on her car and installed hidden cameras in the house. He even began stalking her at work.

The climax came very suddenly, well before she was ready. But, her leaving could no longer be put off. Fredwig’s insanity spiraled into physical violence.

With police protection and help from a friend, Heather went to the house to gather a few belongings for herself and the children. She locked her cell phone and left it at the house so Fredwig knew he could not call her. She left her car at the office and got a rental so she and the children could not be tracked. She then got a prepaid cell phone, went to a hotel and called a lawyer. The next day, Heather went to the local court and filed for a restraining order. Fredwig was ordered to leave the house and have no contact with Heather or the children until the date of the divorce.

That would be the first and last ruling in Heather’s favor because, of course, Fredwig had quite a bit more money than Heather to spend on legal fees. Heather did not have the funds or the will to spend the years in court her lawyer said it would take to prove the theft of the house, despite having the proof of the title search in hand. But, Heather could focus on winning the r.v. to sell, which was paid for with the equity line of credit that was still in Heather’s name. Not a fair trade, but at that point Heather just wanted to be free of Fredwig. So, she agreed.

At the divorce hearing, Heather and the children were ordered to move out of the house within seven days. Fredwig demanded it, the judge granted it.

Subsequently, Fredwig pleaded with the court to reduce his child support payments, insisting he only made $300 a week. Lies. Fredwig owned a business for years in an industry that is well known for being very lucrative. However, the judge again granted Fredwig’s request and his child support for two children was reduced to an amount barely above that for a non-custodial parent that has no job at all. All the while, Fredwig proceeded to purchase a number of brand new vehicles, went on multiple vacations to expensive destinations, and flashed wads of cash in his children’s faces.

Heather could do nothing about the court system, so she focused on the well-being of the children. While they had little money for extra things or activities, they spent quality time together and eventually, after some therapy and a lot of patience, they became a new, healthier family of three.

Later on, after the oldest had completed three years of college, Heather decided to go back to court to try once more for a fair ruling. The divorce agreement stated that each parent would contribute to their children’s college education and, of course, Fredwig had not contributed a dime. His contributions had been spent on a new custom Jeep, beach bars in Nantucket, the slopes in Colorado, and resorts in Aruba. Yet, the judge sided with Fredwig again, for no better reason than citing the date on which Heather filed her complaint. (Sources and court records have been confirmed.)

After spending a long while tasting bitter disappointment in the failures of humanity and the corruption of the “justice” system, Heather has moved on. She found and worked with a specialized life coach. She happily remarried and started her own successful business, has a cozy apartment in a nice town, and continues a very close relationship with her two, now grown, children.

Heather told me that if her back had not been pressed against the wall, she would not have “had the balls” to take all the risks that she took in life, and she would not have the life she now has which is more than she ever dreamed of when she first left that little, rural town so many years before. It was a very hard, very unfair road. But, she has discovered how to be grateful for the blessings that were harvested from the difficulties. Because she recognizes her blessings, she has been able to find at least a few crumbs of forgiveness in her heart.

You see, when Heather finally stood back and looked at her experience objectively, she realized the magnitude of her true strength. Despite all of Fredwig’s concentrated efforts including using his money to buy corrupt people in positions of power as well as all of the others who were complacent and looked the other way, despite Heather having only the moral support of a few friends, she was not left destitute. Fredwig had desperately wanted that. But, he was no match for Heather’s determination to be a good mother and provide for her children. And he hadn’t the slightest chance against her ultimate power, her ability to love.

If you met Heather today, you would see a woman who is quite happy with who she has become. You would see a woman of quiet confidence, knowing what she can accomplish on her own. You would see a woman with beautiful peace in her heart.

Thank you , Heather, for sharing your story. May you and your family continue to reap many blessings.

Copyright, L.M. White at The Empath’s Daily Guide