I could never be a talk show host. I need time to gather my thoughts and access to the delete button. This is why I am a writer.

In school, I would sometimes say things that came out very wrong. My words did not match the rationale behind my thinking. It could be very embarrassing especially because school aged boys just love having a reason to tease girls and school aged girls aren’t very forgiving. Or forgetful, for that matter.

Until I learned how to process my thoughts into effective communication I remained very silent. Yes, I was one of “the quiet ones”. I blended so well into the shadows that people began to forget I was there at all. My listening and observing skills became very attuned.

Now, as an adult, I am still very careful with my words to the point of stammering at times when I am asked an unexpected question. I still observe acutely with my eyes and ears and go into deep thought, processing what is happening around me.

Sometimes I still forget that I don’t actually have a super power to make myself invisible. This is bad because I automatically assume people aren’t talking to me. They aren’t calling my name when they see me walking down the street. It’s not me they are waving at as we drive by each other in town. Gosh, people must think I’m a snob.

I felt terrible a couple of weeks ago when I saw a friend at a local shop. He came up to me and tapped me on the shoulder. He said, “I saw you walking down the street the other day and I called your name several times, but you just kept on walking! What’s up with that?” I was mortified and apologized more than once. The last thing I want is to do something that makes someone else feel invisible.

This is now a part of my self-awareness training as well as a focal point of my personal growth.

I am a friend to my community! I have positive and uplifting things to say! I can love my neighbors simply by acknowledging them! But, first, I must put my own childish ways behind and acknowledge what’s going on inside myself.

It’s time to heal old wounds. Only then can I truly achieve complete awareness, grow into my full mightiness, and discover my mission for this lifetime.