I like to think I have faith bigger than a mustard seed. Yet, I still get those feelings of fear sometimes. You know, when the blood drains from your face, your veins turn cold and the knots form in your stomach.

My faith has been tested lately just like it’s been tested many times before throughout my life. God has never let me fall and I know without a doubt He never will. That’s the sum of my faith. So, why do I still get those initial feelings of fear?

The root is in something else. I just can’t quite put my finger on it. Is it self doubt? Not feeling good enough or worthy? Or fear of losing the bit of self confidence that I’ve managed to build up over time?

I suppose I need to ask myself a few questions when these feelings pop up. Such as…What is the main component in this situation that is hurting me? What’s the worst that can happen in the end? And, if the worst happens what is my plan to deal with it? What needs to happen so I can forgive and move on?

Most often, meditation and prayer is the solution. Sometimes it takes multiple prayers and many meditations. Asking for guidance is necessary. Being willing to follow that guidance takes courage, so ask for that, too.

When in doubt, always, always, remember to consider the imprint your actions will leave on this world and on the people nearby who are affected by them. Whatever you do, do it with love.

In the simple act of writing this post, I already feel better and my little mustard seed has multiplied. I truly love God’s mysterious ways.