My parents divorced when I was in my early twenties, but I often wondered if I wouldn’t have been better off if they’d divorced when I was younger. It doesn’t matter now, it’s done. To be truthful, when they did divorce I only felt relief that they each finally had the chance to find happiness.

I’m not sure if they consciously stayed together “for the sake of their three kids” until they had all moved out. If so, I would say it wasn’t necessary nor wise. The hostile environment my siblings and I grew up in was not to our benefit. To this day, over twenty years post-divorce, the family remains broken.

On the flip side, some say many people are too quick to divorce, which is why it’s so prevalent. I would say many people are too quick to get married. And I say this from experience. I definitely married too quick and too young and for all the wrong reasons. I did not know myself enough to make such a life-binding decision.

When my first marriage grew mold and began to rot I chose not to stay in it, even for our two kids. The effects it would have had on them would have been so much worse and long-lasting in their minds and hearts. It was a rough few years after the separation, but it was the right decision for my self and kids. My kids and I have now had the good fortune of seeing and feeling a wholesome, loving relationship through my second marriage. I am thankful every day that I was able to make a much more wise decision the second time around.

We have a family friend that is in a tough current situation. He believes through-and-through that he needs to “buck up” and stay in a terrible relationship until their daughter graduates high school so that she can have both parents in the home. Yet, their daughter has been emotionally and mentally traumatized from the toxic environment. I pray she will heal and have a healthy relationship of her own in the future. But, she is starting out with the odds against her.

Every relationship obviously must be evaluated independently. Further, every intention should be evaluated independently. This includes one’s own intentions as well as one’s partner’s intentions. Light cannot coexist in harmony with darkness. If one’s partner lives in darkness and one does not leave, then they choose to live with and in darkness. Even worse, if they have children, then they choose to raise their children under the cloud of darkness.

The lasting effects are what some call a curse. It can remain for generations. I know, because my family has suffered such a curse for many, many years….and, I have set out on a course to break it.

It has now been four years since I began hunting the curse. I started out with an imaginary bow and quiver full of poison arrows. But, that didn’t work. Then, I envisioned a lasso of flames. That didn’t work either. The curse only laughed. No weapon would defeat it.

There is only one way to break a curse.

First, it must be identified for what it is. It is quite simply energy. Dark energy. The old saying that you must “get down on one’s level” does not apply here. Darkness delights in more darkness. Like a cannibal, it devours itself with glee as it grows bigger and more vile. No, vengeance never works.

The only way is to become untouchable…to become the very essence of light….to be a glowing source of love and compassion in the face of darkness.

It is a continuous, dedicated life-work of passion to radiate light. There will be many challenges, constant efforts to diminish the brightness. The wonderful thing about light is that it appreciates challenges because it learns from them and becomes stronger and wiser because of them, making it more and more difficult for darkness to exist.

A world of light is what I want most for my children and grandchildren to come. So, I choose to pioneer the path of light within our family and not just break the curse, but illuminate and eliminate it.