The topic of narcissism gets a lot of attention on the internet. Ironic, isn’t it? Narcissists love attention, all attention, as long as it’s about them.

I was raised by one narcissistic parent and one avoidant parent. Guess I drew the short straw in the pool of souls assigned to earth that day. Some spiritual advisors say I chose this life. If so, I suppose I must have been looking for a real challenge.

People who had a childhood like mine could end up on any kind of life path. More often than not it’s a path of sorrow, emptiness or self-destruction in one way or another. I understand that. Many times I made dumb decisions because I just didn’t give a crap. Why should I? No one else cared.

Deep down I knew I wanted something different in my future. Maybe no one cared about me, but I vowed that when I became a parent my children would never question whether or not they were loved. I would give more than I was given. More time, more attention, more compassion, more understanding, more patience, more positive guidance, more gentle correction, more celebration for accomplishments, more unconditional love.

Trust me, when the time came I got plenty wrong. But, I stayed true to my vow and kept giving more. Then, I finally realized that I needed to give more to myself, as well. In caring for my inner child in the ways my parents never did, I was able to heal. Only then was I able to truly fulfill my promise to be the best parent I could be, and show my children how to be good parents when the time comes for them.

To everyone on the internet wondering what to do about a narcissist in their life…..love them from afar. It does nothing to pour goodness into a bottomless pit. Give where your gifts will flourish, within yourself and for the benefit of others who appreciate you. It will brighten your corner of the world and inspire others to do the same.

Give more than you were given wherever it will count the most. It’s how we change the world.